Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize