when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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