This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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