Those balls look pretty dangerous.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
