so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
