dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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