My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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