Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My life is pants optional.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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