Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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