Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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