The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
