The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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