We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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