Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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