I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
