Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
