i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
