1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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