Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
