You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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