is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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