i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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