Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
