Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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