You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
operation harelip BJ is a go
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
