I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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