Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
