u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
