It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
