It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
