I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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