hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize