So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
