God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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