We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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