What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
