I forgot how hot balto sounded
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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