So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
