She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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