how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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