I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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