She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize