You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
