She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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