I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize