It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
