no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
