another moral hangover. fuck.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
