Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
