return my video game
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
