Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize