I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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