What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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