apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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