Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
