when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
zippers are such a cool invention
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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