just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So here I am, sexting at work.
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