I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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