I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
handjob tips. give me some.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
