I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
