I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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