i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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