I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
